In a wedding ceremony, every Thing can take on deep meaning and symbolism. A bride and groom who care about the messages and subtexts being conveyed will research and think about what certain elements of the ceremony mean to them and others. For me, it’s a blessing and a curse to be a musician selecting the music for my own wedding. I know too much. I over-analyze. I don’t want to use what everyone else uses because it has become cliche, to me anyway. And I want what we do pick to be meaningful, or at least carry no stigma.

One somewhat well-known fact is that the popular Wagner “bridal march” is typically not used in Jewish weddings because Wagner is considered by some to be an antisemitist. The few times brave souls (Zubin Mehta was one) have performed Wagner’s works in the Israel Philharmonic, some of the audience tried to shout it down, and others got up and left.

There is a march, not the one everyone knows as the bridal one, that I think would fit well for our processional. (Un)fortunately, I know about this Wagner controversy. And there’s no clear answer there. He wrote some things that are considered antisemetic; the Nazis (Hitler was born after he died, so he wasn’t a Nazi) held up some of his works as anthems and banned others; he had Jewish friends and business associates. Since I can’t pass judgement on this uncertainty, I can’t with conviction say “no, I won’t use his music because he was a bad person.” There are plenty of other composers who did worse than he did (and are not, incidently, banned from the Israel Philharmonic’s repertoire). But Wagner stirs up huge negative emotion in those who believe in his antisemitic leanings. And I don’t want even the faintest tinge of negativity. But do I know if anyone will feel this way? I can’t be sure. And if I do ask and educate (as I am now by publishing this), I am potentially creating some negativity that wouldn’t have been there before. What’s a considerate bride to do? Find something else? Perhaps I shall keep listening.