My husband (aka dadhacker) needs new earbud covers and, having been raised by the kind of thrifty mother who would buy marked down cans of food with missing labels, he picked the most cost effective replacements. Soon, 400 earbud covers for a mere $6.95 will arrive at our house. Paying no attention to my quips about listing them on eBay for a modest markup or that we’d all have neural implants long before they run out, he simply remarked that we could pass them down to succeeding generations as family heirlooms.  In a well meaning attempt to remedy my unfortunate situation, a friend provided me with the following list of earbud cover applications:

• Wear them on your fingertips.
• Use them as very small, inefficient sponges.
• Add water to them and declare them defective magic capsule dinosaurs.
• Poorly construct some sort of lumpy poodle or sheep.
• Make fake beards and mustaches.
• Regift them individually to be known as the worst gift-giver ever.
• Rest assured when the Earbud Cover Shortage of 2011 arrives, you will be regarded as kings.
• Put them on Lego minifigs as fashionable berets.
• Put them on a doll to get instant Princess Leia hair buns.
• Spill them all on the floor and roll over them and pretend you are rich in some foreign currency.
• Send them to Lady Gaga’s costume designer for her next music video.

Word on the street is that if you actually count them, you’re usually short a few so perhaps the situation is not as dire as I believe it to be.